By Elizabeth Magee, LRD
This is goes out to all the moms, stepmoms (I’m both) and anyone out there trying to raise good, healthy, loved kids.
Parenting is hard. And it doesn’t seem to be the most rewarding job in the world (that’s my take on where I’m at with kids ages 8-16 in my house). I’m told it gets more rewarding; we just have to wait until they’re adults. I’ll buy it, and I’ll wait.
As a mom/stepmom, I want the best for all my kids. We all do. I want them taken care of, I want them happy, healthy, kind, making the right choices, caring, and just good little humans out there making the world a shiny, happy place (cue R.E.M.)
These are high expectations for sure. It takes a village, there are no breaks, no days off, and half the time I’m questioning if what I’m doing is the right thing. I think we all are. There’s no book, no right or wrong necessarily, and let’s be real, raising kids these days is far different from when I was growing up. The world is a different place.
A million things go into making our kids what we want them to be, what we hope they will be. All day, every day. I find myself questioning all the things. And we have so many other influences out there now with all the social media – making things look so easy and giving the vibe that everything is always perfect. That’s crap.
Being a dietitian puts the pressure on all things food. It’s like I should have perfect little eaters, eating my well thought out, highly nutritious meals every day. Guess what? That’s not what it looks like in my house: Four different personalities, likes and dislikes, and appetites. Oh, and did I mention I don’t meal plan or even enjoy cooking? Surprise!!
Everyone on social media seems to be some type of expert on who knows what. Nutrition is HUGE. Its hard to figure out how to weed out what’s true, real, valid, or total BS. It’s a challenging topic when it comes to how we should eat. “Almond Moms” are the latest topic of discussion. And in the back of my head, I can’t help but think these moms are honestly just doing their best for their kids with the info they have or even maybe how they were raised.
For those of you wondering what an “Almond Mom” is, it’s a term that refers to a parent who is obsessed with diet culture and imposes it on their children, equating thinness with health and worthiness. I would like to thank the internet for this definition. Maybe you’ve heard of it, maybe not. It’s not necessarily a positive thing. But it doesn’t make these moms bad moms.
I grew up in the times of Tab, margarine being the choice over butter, and crazy diet pills. Women have worried about being overweight for as long as I can remember, and certainly much further back than that. And its hard. Remembering that we are more than what we weigh and how we look is hard. We don’t want our kids to feel that way. everyone is so much more than that, but due to culture and the way the world is, we think the number on the scale equates happiness. And that’s not right. It’s a lot to carry.
I have negative body thoughts every day. And it would kill me if my kids were thinking the things about themselves that I think about myself. I try hard to promote good body image. And I try hard to have a wide variety of foods in the house to remind/teach people that all foods can fit in our lives. Yes, some foods offer more nutrition than others. But some are much more satisfying and comforting than others. They all can fit in our lives.
I know I heard things growing up that affect how I feel about myself, but I know no one was intentionally planting those words for me to develop a complex. They were just doing what they knew, and thought was best at the time. I try to be mindful of what I say about food, or our bodies, but I know I slip sometimes, and I probably don’t even realize at times what type of impression I’m leaving. I’m trying my hardest. And I know all of you are too.
Be mindful of what you do and say. Be kind to others and certainly be kind to yourself. Have a little grace.
We’re all out here trying to do our best, the way we know how with the means we have. Keep doing that. keep loving those kids around you. And don’t forget to love yourself. You’re doing good whether you believe it or not.
Elizabeth Magee is a licensed registered dietitian. Her posts appear monthly on OYT.
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