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On Your Table Blog

March 2, 2022

High maintenance

High maintenance

By Kelli Bowen

What is really considered high maintenance? I looked in the actual Oxford Dictionary for what the actual definition of “high maintenance” is, and it read: “needing a lot of work to keep in good condition. INFORMAL (of a person or relationship) demanding a lot of attention.”

“I’m not that high maintenance.” I hear that from women when it comes to hair, nails, eyelashes, etc., etc. Anyone who takes more than 30 minutes to get ready is stamped with the “high maintenance” moniker. Okay judgy judgers...

By THIS definition, do you know who is high maintenance? Children. Hubby. THEY are the most high maintenance people in my household! My children’s alarms go off a full hour before they need to get out the door and half the time they look like disheveled hoboes when they do leave the house. They are the pinnacle of "needing a lot of work to keep in good condition."

Have you seen what a child under 10 looks like at the end of the day?? That’s right: a trainwreck; unless someone has put a lot of work into keeping that child in good condition, my children look like they’ve been running from wolves while running through a maze lined with ketchup and an unknown sticky substance, but they’re always, ALWAYS sticky,

Hubby. Date night. “I want to leave at 6 p.m.,” I say. Fast forward to 5:54 p.m. that evening: I hear the shower fire up in our bathroom. We’ll maybe leave by 6:30. If you want to talk about a lot of work to stay in good condition, marry a mechanic.

My house is high maintenance. Do you know how much work it takes to keep a house in good condition?!? Too much. Wait, is that maybe due to the children? This is all starting to add up.

Anyway all of this talk of high maintenance makes me think about what really is considered high maintenance? Is the person who takes an hour every morning to get ready more high maintenance than the person who takes 5 minutes? Are they both considered to be in “good condition?” Is the level of “good condition” where the maintenance level is determined? Who determines good? Is good in the eye of the beholder?

These are the things I ponder as I get my roots touched up at the salon, because sometimes I’m a little high maintenance.